STRIPEY AND BLONDIE
(Tune: 'Frankie and Johnny')

Now come here and I'll tell you a story
It's all about Malta you know.
It's all about a Valletta-bound Jane
And a guy named Stripey Joe.

_Chorus_
He was her man, but he was doing her wrong.

Now Blondie was still in her twenties,
Stripey was past thirty-two.
Stripey was running Blondie
And an OD winger too.

Now Blondie she went round to Sliema,
Stripey hadn't been with the car,
And you all know the place that Blondie went,
It was a dive called the Cairo Bar.

Blondie walked into the Cairo,
Ordered a nice juicy Blue,
And over in the corner sat Stripey
And his OD winger too.

Stripey saw Blondie approaching,
He said 'A sherry for Blondie please.'
'I don't want your sherry,' said Blondie,
'And get your hands off that OD's knees.'

The OD he blushed crimson,
The Cairo Bar it was packed,
And every matelot started whispering:
'I bet that OD's just been cracked.'

Blondie she got in a di-so,
She rowed around to Bighi Bay,
She went aboard the _Warspite_
And took her fifteen-inch away.

Blondie rowed back round to Sliema,
Fifteen-inch as well,
And aiming by director
She blew the Cairo Bar to hell.

Now Blondie she's up in Corradino,
That's if she's still alive.
She's chamfering down that fifteen-inch
To make the barrel of a four-point-five.

Now this is the moral to the story
As any matelot can tell,
Never run an OD winger
And a blond barmaid as well.

An alternative final verse runs:

Now this story has no moral,
It only goes to show what I've said,
That there's more than one Valletta-bound Jane
And they ain't in the blinking Med.

-- _Grey funnel lines: traditional song and verse of the Royal Navy, 1900-1970_, by Cyril Tawney (Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1987)