The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418 Message #2724769
Posted By: Rapparee
16-Sep-09 - 10:13 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
We called her Harry. See, her father wanted a son to carry on the family tradition of raiding and viking, laying waste to small villages along the Upper River in their longboat: places like Meyer, Illinois and Dumas, Wisconsin (pronounced "dumbass, viskonsin"). She was also a berserker. I remember once she got a poor grade on a quiz in Early English Literature and she carried the Prof's head around on the end of her spear all day long. Being also of Celtic stock she eventually preserved it in cedar oil and kept it on a shelf in her dorm room (she didn't keep roommates long). When she graduated, with a degree in Elementary Education, her father gave her her own longboat and crew. Problem was, she was by then a pacifist (except when the berserker rage was on her) and, because of her name, was drafted. It's difficult to convince a draft board you're a pacifist and CO when you arrive for the hearing wearing the arms and armor of a viking warrior over a bearskin. A week later a new draft board gave her CO status contingent upon her working with the children of poor fisherfolk. Last I heard she'd married a guy named Percival Tweedle and was living in a subdivision outside of Keokuk, Iowa and had 2.6 children and a minivan.