I don't know if it will help you or not, but try to stop and figure out just WHY you are so grief-stricken. Is it for you and your loss, or for Joy's suffering? Joy is no longer suffering and you need to get to where you are thankful for that. If it is for your own loss, wallow a while, then get back to the living world, which is what Joy would want you to do. This really helped me get throug my Mom and Dad's funerals, and to deal with all the CRAP involved. With Mom, especially, there was a LOT of CRAP to deal with; it lasted 2 years because of family difficulties, and I am still trying to deal with the fall-out of being the Executrix.

And, I am so sorry for your troubles.