I am playing at a 70th birthday bash tomorrow evening and have been asked to sing "The oldest swinger in town " as a humorous tribute to the main guest.

the problem is that there will be a lot of younger guests there who will never have heard the song, and the line "Travolta's shades and nine inch heels" will mean absolutely nothing to them, so I would like to alter it to something which would have some current relevance.

all creative suggestions welcomed, pursed lips regarding the ethics of changing lyrics not quite as welcome.