I recall an old man way back in the 50s used to recite a monologue with the words;

I am an old bachelor
They call me poor old bachelor
But really I am rich in what this world considers wealth
I'm hale and very hearty too,
Play polka to while away the hours at home
My only home, the club

This is all I can remember but if anyone has the whole version I would be grateful. I have searched monologue web sites but found nothing.
Cheers bill