Hi MOM, I'm home.

Me 'n Amos sure had fun this weekend. Amos ain't home yet, and I just want to say, MOM, that you shouldn't be mad at him for leaving you in the airport bar at O'Hare. But the plane was due to take off, and you were too drunk to walk. I thought it was really solicitous of him to put that luggage tag around your wrist with your name and address on it before he had to rush off for the the flight to BWI.

Looks like you got home OK. All's well that ends well, and all that....