Mooh, if MOST people I nknow raised this topic, I'd be SURE that Mudcat would be the worst setting for its discussion the OP could pick. But I know you, a little bit, and I know you to be a reflecting person, not a reactive one. So this reply is to you, as if no one else who is reactive will jump on any one word as I address your topic. (As I've posted elsewhere, time here is short right now. I may not post here again, much. I may not even see replies addressed to me, tho PMs are always welcome.)

Here's what all my experience has taught me thus far.

Privacy is natural. Secrecy is not. Privacy is about boundaries, and is healthy. Secrecy is about fear, shame, power, and is not.

Confusion about these can be immaturity of development (not pejorative, just descriptive-- read on). Or it can be denial. Confusion is natural, and can be healthy. Denial is not.

Confusion is most usually about needing information and insight. Denial is about fear, shame, power.

The rest of that meditation (thanks for sprouting it) will go with me, forward, thru the day. Most of that will not be posted-- I'll be too busy! :~)

Finally, Mooh, our older PMs. I remember. :~)

~S~