I found this via Google but haven't checked it for accuracy:

I CAN'T FIND MY CAMOUFLAGE NET - Les Barker

I don't know where I've put it,
I've looked, but I've not found it yet.
It's somewhere in the garden,
I can't find my camouflage net.

It's a sort of greeny colour;
Very much like the lawn;
It's somewhere in the garden
But I don't know where it's gorn.

You can buy 'em in packs of a dozen;
It's not long since I had a set;
You just put 'em down and they vanish;
I can't find my camouflage net.

I ordered 'em last year from Wakefields';
I had to go back and remind 'em.
They said they hadn't forgotten;
They said they just couldn't find 'em.

It's a good job you don't have to feed 'em;
I suppose they'd make a good pet;
Except they don't come when you call 'em;
I can't find my camouflage net.

I draped one over my Transit;
That's when the problems began;
I'd go back to the shop for another;
I would but I can't find the van.

It's only a bloody tarpaulin,
But I can't find the little green get;
I wish they'd make 'em bright orange;
I can't find my camouflage net.