Wonderful...how about this...it's not a song, it's a poem:
'Twas in early last December
(as clear as I remember...?)
I was stumblin' doon the street in sodden pride,
When I fell into the gutter,
thinkin' thochts I dared not utter,
and a pig come up and lay doon by my side.
Two old ladies passin' by
cast on me a jaundiced eye,
and I thocht I overheard one o' them say:
"Ye can tell a man who boozes
by the comp'ny that he chooses."
And wi' that, the pig got up and walked away!