The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2748668
Posted By: Rapparee
20-Oct-09 - 09:47 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
It's that new-fangled alternating current. Sometimes it's on and alternately it's off. What's even more interesting is that sometimes it flows to your house and other times your current flows out to the power company.

See, the power company is really just a great big bunch of flashlight batteries and there's another bunch of batteries hidden under your house. When the batteries under your house run down, electricity flows from the electric company's batteries and recharges yours. When the electric company's batteries get low they take a charge from your batteries. You have to pay for it no matter what direction it's going because the electricity all belongs to the electric company (except for lightning and other wild electricity, which are sort of like wild animals). When you use it, it makes a "circuit" from the batteries to the lamp or toaster or whatever and goes back into the batteries (the word "circuit" is related to "circle"). A teensy bit trickles out through gaps in the wire's insulation and it's this that causes your batteries to run down (and also causes male pattern baldness, PMS, and various embarrassing itches).

Sometimes the electric company has to replace its batteries and then there is a "power outage." This can also happen when the company has to replace YOUR batteries: they do this via a series of secret underground tunnels that run to every house that "has electricity."

That's why the Legion Hovel is not lit by electricity, but by the rubicund noses of many of its habitues. The noses work kinda like glow sticks: you give them a good whack and a shake to make them work.