We posted dates for your appearance -- the week between Christmas and New Year's. You never replied, never said anything about whether these dates were okay with you or not. The Legion had to get the festivities lined up, so you lost out to the Butthole Surfers and the Celtic Goatherds.

Perhaps, just perhaps, and I'm not promising anything, The Commandant might possibly maybe be able to work you in as the opening act for the Surfers or as the Goat for the Goatherds. But dude, you snooze you lose, ya know?