Some "oh bugger" moments when I was a zookeeper...

Before entering the bobcat enclosure, I always opened the little guillotine door that they would use to go outside to the outside run. I'd wait a few minutes before going inside, and I would scan the enclosure before shutting the little door. On one occassion, I scanned the enclosure and didn't see any sign of the cats (there were two, a young adult male, and a female who was just approaching adulthood, but hadn't quite reached it yet. The male was quite bold, but the female was very shy and fearful.

Not seeing either one of them and expecting that they were outside, I started tending to the enclosure. After leaving the food out, I started washing the window (it was a glassed-in enclosure). As I stood there squeegeeing the window, I got that icky crawling feeling on the back of my neck that people get when there's something scary and not right. I had an urge to look up, and there, not more than a couple of feet above my head, was the female, hugging tight to a dead tree limb that was a part of the enclosure landscaping. I think I said, "oh shit", but "oh bugger" would have worked just as well.

On a couple of occasions, I went into animal enclosures with no shovel or broom for protection (I guess I was just feeling a bit cocky and thought I would be ok). In the white tailed deer enclosure, there were two or three females with young. One of the adult females was between me and the access to the outside bobcat run. She was lying down looking contented and peaceful, and I figured I could stealth my way in (I think I just wanted to see if I could do it). It took me several minutes to get past the deer because I was moving very slowly. Within moments of my having passed where she was lying down, she rose up, almost as if she was being pulled by strings, fixed me with a very determined gaze, and started walking slowly in my direction using body language that told me it was one of those "oh bugger" moments. I quickly put a tiny little bush that had some very flimsy chicken wire around it between me and the deer, and she started circling it. I circled it too, and we went around and around the bush a few times until she decided it was time to drive her point home (literally). She raised up on her hind legs, and brought her razor sharp front hooves up like she was going to bring them down on my head. I swung my bucket and deflected her legs, which bought me just enough time to run as fast as I could out of the enclosure before she could catch up with me. When she came down, her legs got tangled up in the bush a little bit and that probably saved me.

In the javalina enclosure, there was a juvenile male and an adult female. I had raised the male since he was still feeding from a bottle, and he was imprinted on me all of that time, as though I was his parent. I think someone had been abusing him at night or something (maybe one of the night guards, but more likely the zoo curator, who seemed to have some sociopathic tendencies). At any rate, one day I was in a hurry and didn't have a shovel with me, and I wasn't too worried about either of them attacking me. The female was afraid of me and the male was tame, or so I thought. As I reached about the middle of the enclosure (outdoors), he very suddenly turned vicious. He adopted a very threatening posture, with all of his bristles standing on end, he started snorting loudly, and snapping his teeth open and shut.

Javalinas have canines that are about two or three inches long, and when they charge, they turn their heads sideways so they can take a nice big chunk out of whatever they're attacking. He was headed for my legs. I had taken three or four Kung Fu lessons, and I knew three kicks. I adopted a protective stance, standing on one leg, and drawing my other leg up with the foot between me and the javalina. I had hiking boots on, and as he charged my leg, I nailed the side of his jaw with a side kick. He backed off a bit, and then charged again. I got him with another side kick. This was repeated several times, until he got frustrated and ran around in a circle around the enclosure, which bought me just enough time to get the hell out of there. The enclosure was surrounded by two walls and a dry moat. One of the walls was a huge window with one way mirror reflective film on it. When I was catching my breath in the public walkway, a half dozen other keepers came running out the door, applauding and cheering. It's possible that they may have been taking the piss (I'll never know), but I didn't care.