Hey, that would be a good idea for a reality TV show. Of course, we'd have to arrange for a few blonde-haired, blue-eyed, large-breasted, piratessess. "Pirate Survival: the First Episode".

Meanwhile: "If you have captured a tanker and taken hostages, press 1. If you have captured a tanker but taken no hostages, press 2. If you have captured a smaller vessel and taken hostages, press 3. If you have captured a smaller vessel and taken no hostages, press 4. If you have captured the wrong vessel, and now want to know what to do with it, press 5. If you are a hostage seeking information on how to escape, please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly."