To save you from the wrath that will come should you attempt to perform the male-centric programme outlined by others, may I suggest the Three Wise Women which I believe was originally by Les Barker (if not it was Stanley Accrington). Everybody who sings it adds their own verses and adapts the others so it is possible that what is below may contain nothing of the original at all (on the principle of 'I have a twenty year old broom - it's had six new heads and three new handles').

Three wise women went down to Bethlehem, went down to Bethlehem, went down to Bethlehem;
Three wise women went down to Bethlehem to see the baby King

The first wise woman took cotton buds and baby wipes ....

The second wise woman took two gross of Pampers Dry ....

The third wise woman took a voucher from Mothercare ....

The first wise woman said "What bloody use is frankincense?" ....

The second wise woman said "Cowsheds aren't hygenical" ....

The third wise woman said "Joseph, get up off your arse!" ....