Susan reminds me of a couple of times when something was bothering me to the point that I couldn't get to sleep, that I was dwelling on the issue and lay sleepless in bed, going over the loop because I couldn't see an answer. When the answer finally did dawn on me I was able to sleep. (In one instance it was a simple post office box question, actually, but the friend who was supposed to check it told me she was locked out after I forwarded mail from it. I finally in the wee hours realized they must have closed it when I didn't put an end date on the forwarding. I ran a small business with that box and was afraid I'd lose mail if my friend didn't check it for me.)

I'm also thinking of how long it took me to take control of my finances. I'd set up an IRA in the main brokerage in our very small town, and it seemed to languish for years. And then, again after the move, and after a divorce, about 10 years ago, I took control. I set up a new account with Vanguard and wrote a letter with the online form I'd printed from Vanguard, and waited. And pretty soon the paper work came saying I had a new account and the old Dean Witter account was closed. And my money began to grow quickly, no longer burdened by the fees and charges and nonsense of the original brokerage. I felt so good, so in charge, finally.

Kat, if you're just thinking about changing doctors, then give yourself permission and just do it. Plan to take the time to fill out the forms (and speak up for some kind of medical records reforms soon so we don't have to go through all of the paperwork shit every time we see a new doctor). You'll feel so good about making the change, getting away from that doctor you don't like. You'll be able to sleep again. It will make you a lot happier instantly, to have that weight off your mind. You don't need our permission, but I hope our encouragement helps you make that big step.

Finally, my thought about the picture wasn't to make more work for you in looking for a place of beauty; it can be very small or even a gorgeous flower in your yard. I wanted to give us a focal point of beauty through your eyes. That photo a couple of posts up is gorgeous, but it's taken by someone else. I'd like to look at your photo and know that you took time to visit this beautiful place or object, to breathe deep, and to just enjoy the moment. We should all do this, actually. I'll go look for a pretty spot today. Our creek out back is quite full after all of the rain, and there is some pretty color over on the far bank near the bridge. I wonder if there is a good reflection?

SRS