I hope the reason for guest status will be obvious.

My husband of nearly 40 years has for some time had a problem with over-indulgence in alcohol, to the point of what I might call standing incontinence - the old wardrobe joke etc. For several months, if not a couple of years, he has been drinking in secret, at home, again to the point of passing out. I have now had more than enough of this. I know I can't force/cajole/whatever him to stop (A couple of times in the past he has abstained completely for a year or so).

The question is, how do I find the emotional strength to begin to disentangle myself from him, and in doing so, from my home, family, half my social circle, joint finances etc, when I still love the person he is when not drinking?