You have just described, perfectly, what Alanon is and does. It will not FEEL like the right thing to do/place to go, unless and until you try it. You may not stick with it, but it WILL get you started thinking in the right direction. Because it's not the program that does that trick-- it's the people there. From there, you can decide if the program is workable for you.
A very wise counselor told me once that our society understands the disease model of the drinker quite well, and can describe the medical effects perfectly and the various ways alcoholism can kill.... But, he said, we don't yet quite have a handle on how co-dependence kills. Yet kill it can and kill it does. People die of it every day. It's not yet a diagnosis on a death certificate. But failing to take care of self is not the road to health and long life.
Alanon can help you focus on saving your own life first, THEN-- if you have some slack left over you can think about saving someone else. IF after getting your own head healthy you still want to. :~)
PM if helpful. It's an intensely busy time here, so be warned I may not reply right away.
But look-- honor that "enough" feeling. It's your autopilot, trying to save you. Let it speak, even if you don't yet listen to it real well.