I would prefer to PM this to you, but as I cannot, here goes.
Been there and done that. 20+ years of it before I could hack it no longer. I know what it is like to disentangle myself from the circle of acquaintances and the joint assets/debts. I paid big time to get out. Taking half of the debt and leaving all of the assets. It was the only way he would agree to divorce. He lost job after job. We moved house over and over again, halfway across the country and back, eating into inheritance, because he had to chase jobs, because he kept losing jobs. I had 3 children to think about, no education and no job experience, so I was stuck for 2 decades. Through it all I still cared deeply for him, wanted him well and engaging properly with his family. But it didn't happen.
The stress on me and our kids maybe tells in the health problems we all have/had (one child passed away). She was the only one that remained at home with the drinker when the rest of us left. I don't doubt that living with her father and having to chauffeur him everywhere (insurance sales manager without a driving license) put a heap of stress on her that contributed to her illness. I know without a doubt, had I stayed, I would not be alive now.
It was so bad that the 2 remaining children avoid their father. One refuses to speak to him at all.
Let me ask you this. Would you want your kids to spend away their lives and happiness in a similar relationship?