What we need to do now is to persuade companies to use folk songs for their bloody answering machines instead of Vivaldi played on a stylophone. If I'm going to have to hang on for twenty minutes I should at least be able to listen to a complete rendition of Lord Bateman.

They could even record a chorus:
Your call to us is most important
So do hang on, we do thee implore.
Our agents all are exceeding busy
But we're ++++ed if we're hiring any more.