My first husband, Mr. Wrong, was -- and probably still is -- a drunk. I feared the reaction of my family and friends when I kicked him out, expecting to be told that I was disloyal and unloving. Imagine my surprise when everyone whose opinion I valued, from my brothers and my aunt to my parish priest, told me they were relieved that I had finally awakened to reality and taken action to save myself.

Several people who had dropped out of my circle of friends suddenly reappeared, glad to see me without him. Most revealing of all was a visit from one of *his* friends, a practising piss-tank of no mean proportions, to tell me that he respected my decision and admired my resolve -- he hadn't thought I had it in me.

I never found a congenial Al-Anon group, but I found their advice clear and unambiguous, and a big help. Go and listen, read their literature, and take what you need and leave the rest.