Now look here, people, this here coffin I am rentin' out is a FULL-size coffin that will fit just about anyone unless he is 7 feet tall. It's a big one. I ain't chintzy when it comes to honorin' the dead. It's got the classic look in semi-gloss black with brass hardware and deep purple velvet on the inside. Dracula would love this coffin. This is a coffin that most people would DIE for! To ask only 50 bucks a month for this coffin is a steal. I am only offerin' such a low price cos I am a swell guy who wants to help ease the country out of the recession, so I am givin' people a big break here.

And keep in mind....this is just ONE coffin I am rentin' out here. One of a kind. That is worth payin' extra for. I don't care if Rapaire comes up with a damn coffin that's got a jacuzzi in it and 3 dancin' girls....nobody in Chicago is gonna travel all the way to Idaho just to rent a damn coffin! No sir. They are gonna take a bus across town to my place and rent my coffin. All it takes is one customer a month, and I'm satisfied.

- Chongo