APP - American Primate Press - Nov. 7/09 -

A group of 7 Chimpanzee activists who had gathered today in a Chicago park to protest against specism were themselves arrested on charges of specist behaviour after a series of altercations with human passersby.

The protest began innocently enough as Little Walter, a local Chimpanzee columnist well known for his articles on the history of specism in America, gave a lengthy speech to a gathering of at least 300 primates including Chimpanzees, Gorillas, Baboons, and at least one Orangutan, plus a number of smaller monkeys of varous types.

Chicago's most famous primate gumshoe Chongo Chimp was also on the scene, and he recounts what happened next:

"So Little Walter was just comin' to makin' his final remarks which was bein' well received when someone at the back of the crowd yells, 'Why don't you damn fleapickers all go back to Africa!' That started one heck of a ruckus as everyone started yellin' in anger and lookin' around for who said that.

What I seen was these 2 white men duckin' inside a black van. I didn't get too good a look at 'em, but they was in dark suits. The van took off into traffic and I was only able to get part of the license number, but I am lookin' into it further.

Anyways, various of the apes and monkeys in the crowd started tauntin' people who were goin' by and throwin' stuff at 'em, and things rapidly went from bad to worse.

Little Walter and several other Chimps in his entourage started yellin' up at the microphone that humans "ain't good enough to live".

About that time the cops arrived in force, and I have to say that they was all human...and that don't help in these kind of situations. What we had by that point was a riot. I would say that the cops was partly responsible for it, but the primates was partly responsible for it too, and there ain't really no excuse for callin' for humans to be exterminated en masse nor is there any excuse for throwin' poop at people. And I saw that done. It was a pretty shameful spectacle. They also chased an old lady's poodle around till it took refuge in the park fountain.

The point is, though, that this whole thing was provoked by outside agitators, and what I want to know is who are they workin' for? And with what purpose? I intend to find out."

Little Walter and 6 members of his staff are today cooling their heels in a Chicago jail and preparing to face a plethora of charges including trespassing, resisting arrest, littering, uttering death threats, rioting, common assault, creating a public disturbance, poop-throwing, poodle-baiting, and rank specism.