Dear Dr Thundermunchken,

I used to be a singer of traditional Scandinavian tunes, but recently,in an effort to achieve more groupies,have switched to Heavy Metal.These are now the problems I am fraught with- I am often injured on stage. Observe these examples for you 1)my bass player for my band Hammer of Thor,has extreme large strings which break with large blasts,causing once a severe laseration to my torsoe 2)Our drummer,Juergen, has stick-shattering which causes fear in the audience,and I have once caught a large splinder in my butocks 3)the guitar player is wild with swinging his instrument around.and wears a horned helmet with which he pierce the bass playr 4)I am stepping up to the microphone and bashing myself in the teeth by accident.

And so here is my question. How can I stop in these violences which I suffer? I am having too many blows to my face which makes my groupies shy.

Sincerely,THOR