Dear Santa,


As Santees are wont to do this time of year, I shall ask you you a few questions about yourself, not nescessarily expecting straight and truthful answers but figuring it is far better to recieve red herrings in advance in print form than in my stocking, especially if they're untinned, so save the "masses in the coaled, coaled ground" in lump form for stuffing the Sacred Santa Sock should I prove to have misbehaved. Besides, I have helped stuff and empty bait bags for lobster traps in my lifetime and am a bit wary of dead herring over a certain age in any hue of natural or induced discoloration.


So please bear with some rather standard inquiries* and hints-forth be ready deposit the crimson fish in a proper receptacle:

1) WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO REVEAL YOUR GENDER AT THIS TIME?

2) MIGHT YOU BE WILLING TO REVEAL THE CONTINENT ON WHICH YOU DWELL?#

3) WHAT WOULD BE THE PREFERRED SNACK FOOD TO LAY OUT FOR YOURSELF, THE REINDEER AND ANY MORE VISITING ELVES?

*(In all caps so as to be cap-tioned for the hard of herring)



I shall inqiure of the House Brownies and Molly-kitty for any particulars they learned from your elves' previous visit (I DO know what food to bribe THEM with) and get back to you soon. I'm, of course, doing my best at "being-have" and aquitting myself well through my many trials until then....

The future beneficiary of your
kindness, generosity and exquisite taste,

Severn









#Hopefully from one of the "IN-continents" (as designated yearly by Travel & Leisure Magazine), something I never had to care about much until I got older......