Can you stand another song on this theme?

You can see the sheet music at the Indiana University web site:


IF THEY EVER PUT A TAX ON LOVE
Words, Sam Erlich. Music, Nat Osborne.
New York: Harry Von Tilzer Music Pub. Co., 1918.

1. Mister William Brown hadn't been to town
And his sweetheart wondered why,
For she longed to see a play
Or to dance 'round at a cabaret.
She called him on the telephone
And said, "I hate to be alone",
So Mister Brown came in to town,
And gave her this reply:

CHORUS 1: There's a tax on sugar
And there's a little tax on honey.
Why, they even tax your money!
It seems so funny when they tax your honey and your money too.
There's a tax on letters. Soon there'll be a tax on stars above.
Broadway farmers will be out of place,
'Cause there'll be no chickens there to chase.
Goodbye forever
If they ever put a tax on love.

2. Mister William Brown has to stay in town
'Cause he married her one night.
He said the safest plan
Is to be a happy married man,
So after things had run their course,
She sued him for a quick divorce.
Now Mister Brown stays out of town,
And writes her when he can.

CHORUS 2: There's a tax on sugar,
And there's a little tax on honey.
Why, they even tax your money!
It seems so funny when they tax your honey and your money too.
There's a tax on letters. Soon there'll be a tax on stars above.
All old maids who never had a chance
Would grab onto anything in pants.
Goodbye forever
If they ever put a tax on love.