The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #125214   Message #2772721
Posted By: Donuel
24-Nov-09 - 12:46 PM
Thread Name: BS: stuff heard round the thanksgiving table
Subject: RE: BS: stuff heard round the thanksgiving table
Ebbie thanks for the song. Here is a version that includes dinner at Uncle Dave's
        


"We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing"
Thanksgiving day, Uncle Dave was our guest
He reads the Progressive which makes him depressed
We asked Uncle Dave if he'd like to say grace,
A dark desolation crept over his face

"Thanks," he began as he gazed at his knife,
"To poor Mr. Turkey for living his life
All crowded and cramped in a great metal shed
Where life was a drag then they cut off his head"

"Thanks," he went on, "for the grapes in my wine
Picked by sick women of seventy-nine
Scrambling all morning for bunch after bunch
Then brushing the pesticides off of their lunch

Thanks for the stuffing all heaped on my fork
Shiny with sausage descended from pork
I think of the trucks full of full of pigs that I see
And can't help imagine what they think of me"

Continuing, "I'd like to thank if you please
Our salad bowl hacked out of tropical trees
And for this mahogany table and chair
We thank all the jungles that used to be there

For cream in our coffee and milk in our mugs,
We thank all the cows full of hormones and drugs
Whose calves are removed at a very young age
And force-fed as veal in a minuscule cage"

"Oh thanks for the furnace that heats up these rooms
And thanks for the rich fossil fuel it consumes
Corrupting the atmosphere ounce after ounce
But we're warm and toasty and that is what counts

I'm grateful," he said, "for these clothes on my back
Lovely and comfy and cheap off the rack
Fashioned in warehouses noisy and cold
In China by seamstresses seven years old"

"And thanks for my silverware setting that shines
In memory of miners who died in the mines
Worn down by the shoveling of tailings in piles
Whose runoff destroys all the rivers for miles

We thank the reactors for our chandelier
Although the plutonium won't disappear
For hundreds of decades it still will be there
But a few more Chernobyls and who's gonna care?"

Sighed Uncle Dave, "though there's more to be told
The wine's getting warm and the bird's getting cold"
And with that he sat down as he mumbled again
"Thank you for everything, amen"

We felt so guilty when he was all thru
It seemed there was one of two things we could do
Live without food, in the nude, in a cave,
Or next year have someone say grace besides Dave.

Now a year later we're all down at Dave's
For in truth he does live in a cave
and I see we should give thanks
to the kooks and the cranks
willing to give change a try.

Uncle Dave doesn't just rave
In fact I think he is brave
For to live in a cave
that may be manmade
is efficient and pleasant for all.

Underground you need not be aloof
you can mow the grass up on your roof
or plant food you can sell from a booth
you could make your own wine or even vermouth
Nope Uncle Dave does not have a screw loose

Uncle Dave's kettle
is made of metal
from 30 melted gun barrels
If you ask me it is you and not he
who made a mistake where you settled.

Uncle Dave's trees make great apple pie
from the rich soil and gifts from the sky
We asked for the recipe and he replied
To make apple pie
you need only a harmonious cosmos.

So with glasses on high
lets give change a try
and toast close relations
with respect among nations
and give thanks for this great apple pie.