The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418 Message #2774462
Posted By: Little Hawk
26-Nov-09 - 05:57 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
That guy doesn't look at all like Shane. Let me describe the lad. He's got greasy blond hair, shoulder-length, in a mullet cut, and a greasy blond mustache, and five o-clock shadow like he hadn't shaved for maybe five days or so. He's got nicotine-stained calloused fingers and filthy hands that have clearly seen a lot of manual activity of one sort or another (probably not what you would call "work", though). He wears tattered blue jeans, cruddy old work boots, a lumberjack shirt and a really filthy old jacket. He wears a baseball cap backwards with "Go Leafs Go!" on it or else the one with "I'm With the IDIOT ---->" on it. Sometimes he wears a T-shirt with the motto "FREE SEX (enquire below)" on it. There's a red arrow pointing down toward his crotch under FREE SEX (enquire below) part. His shirt is usually half tucked in, half hanging out, and with a button or two missing or undone. His fly may be half open...or not...depending on whether he noticed yet.
If a young woman comes by, he leers at her suggestively and makes what he imagines to be clever flirtatious remarks. If she rejects his advances (and they all do), he calls her a "flippin' skank" and says he can do way better "anyways".
He is quite likely to ask if you "got smokes". He expects you to give him one if you do. He will be glad to go drinking with you anytime as long as you pay. He will give you advice on romancing women if you give him some money. He would gladly pay you Tuesday for a glass of beer today...but you won't find him anywhere when Tuesday comes. He sells homegrown at reasonable rates, but check for purity, because he sometimes cuts it with ground-up old dead oak and maple leaves from the backyard, and that stuff leaves a REAL bad aftertaste and does NOT get you high at all.