The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #125388   Message #2776152
Posted By: Rapparee
29-Nov-09 - 01:30 PM
Thread Name: BS: Santa Claus is NOT an elf!
Subject: RE: BS: Santa Claus is NOT an elf!
Oh, LH, you're spouting a crock. You've succumbed to the propaganda of the People-Elf Treaty Alliance (PETA). What you have pictured are actually pictures of Vulcans (pure bred ones, not half-breeds like Spock).

Elves are about .5 meters tall (at the most), use cosmetically pointed ears (their ears are actually much like ours, only larger), have either skin tinted either blue or green, and the pupils of their eyes are vertical, like a rattlesnake's. The bite from their pointed teeth is poisonous and can, in children, the elderly, and those with suppressed immune systems, be fatal. Hygiene is not among their strong points and you can usually detect them by their odor long before you can see them.

"Good" elves are an oxymoron: they are simply setting a trap for humans, whom they consider an excellent food source.

The elven races include pixies, gnomes, kobalds, gremlins, brownies, fairies and tommyknockers. Dwarfs, leprechauns, cluricans, trolls, banshees, pookas, the costa bar, poltergeists, and the rest are NOT elves and should never be confused with the evil little creatures.