Human? How can he get down the chimney?

Don't you have any regard for the children?

Any child that still might not suspect it's all a ruse aimed at an attempt to quell dissention and misbehaviour could easily discern the deception proferred if such were touted.

Have you no regard for the adults which need said ruse to keep the little buggers calm and in line as the commercial machines whip them into a tempest during the most holy of seasons?

Next, I suppose you'll be allowing them to open "just one present" before the holiest of days. Ja***!