QUASIMODO'S STAND-IN

Quasimodo, the famous Hunchback of Notre Dame, was due for some leave. Unfortunately, he couldn't take time off unless he found a stand-in to do his job whilst he was sunning himself in the South of France.

He put postcards in shop windows asking for volunteers, and eventually he was able to compile a shortlist of would-be campanologists. The shortlist was aptly named – there were only two applicants, twin brothers, and both dwarfs.

He decided to try them out, to see how they fared. He took them up to the bell tower, and began his usual display of swinging from bell to bell, using the bell ropes in a Tarzan-like manner.

Dwarf number one followed him, emulating his performance to the best of his ability. Unfortunately, he misjudged a swing, and his face smacked into the side of a bell, rendering him unconscious. This caused him to lose his grip on the rope, and he fell to his death 100 feet below.

A crowd gathered around the hapless corpse, and a concerned voice piped up: 'Who is he?' Does anyone know him?'

A second voice ventured: 'I don't know… but his face rings a bell!'