Desiree and Tiger were lovers,
Lordy how they were grim.
He beat the hell out of golf clubs.
She beat the hell out of him.

He was her man, but he was puttin' around.

Some say he was just crazy,
Others say he was nuts.
He got confused in his playing
Mixed up his puts with his putz

He was her man, but he scored too many holes.

Bring out your rubber tired golf carts
Bring out your irons and woods.
Hang on to your balls and your putters
If you want to deliver the goods

He was her man but his iron was too long.