Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my life is absurd.
My friends all accuse me of being a nerd.
Most women can't stand me, my wife hates my guts.
My analyst tells me I'm totally nuts.
Signed "Just Woody"

Just Woody, Just Woody, stop feeling so blue.
If I was your wife I'd have gotten out too.
Get a job in the movies and just play yourself.
They'll laugh themselves silly while you pile up the wealth.
Signed "Dear Abby"