During Bonfire Night about three years ago I was priviledged to witness an impromptu skirmish between a pipe band (British Airways Pipe Band) and a New Orleans marching jazz band (The Expendient Marching Band) both of whom were taking part in the Cliffe Bonfire Society's procession. To get the full picture bear in mind that this was night-time, the pavements were crowded with spectators, and all the non-musicians were in elaborate costumes and carrying burning torches.

Our procession was stationary in Lewes High Street waiting to come down the hill from the War Memorial. For a variety of reasons our Captain of Bands needed to bring the pipe band further up the procession to a new position. While everyone else stood still, the pipers - in full kit, of course - marched towards their new place with the drummer giving the beat but no music. The jazz band saw the pipers approaching and immediately launched into a heavily-swung, raunchy rendition of Cock of the North.

There was absolutely nothing the pipe band could do about it; they had to keep marching to this completely inappropriate music until they got into place. The pipe-major's face was like thunder. When the pipers came to a halt they got the wind into their bags and tried to wrestle the tune back into strict tempo, but the jazz band wouldn't give way. It was very funny indeed.

The pipe band are very good sports, though, and wonderful to march to. Between processions a couple of years ago I was delighted to hear them taking turns for who could play the daftest tune on the pipes. For me, the winner was the one who relieved himself of Jingle Bells.