"It baffles me why restaurant mangagement, for example, thinks I want to listen to some guy gurgle the infected phlegm in his throat while I eat. Yet they play music where that happens all the time. If it takes a scientist to get through to such managers, then I consider that a good thing."

I've always found that politely saying, "will you turn that shit off or I'm leaving" works quite well. I came up with that solution without the need for a computer programme.