The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2786089
Posted By: Rapparee
11-Dec-09 - 09:52 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
The Ballad of Shame McBride
Allegro con vivo, with slack-string uke.

He was a handsome, lusty lad
His parents pride and joy
And when he was born his parents sobbed
For he was barely a boy.

CHORUS:

Sing flippity floppity flail,
Shame is barely a male.

He failed at school, he failed at home
He could not write nor read
And he was eighteen years of age
Before he was weaned to solid feed.

CHORUS

Tim Horton's and Budweiser
Was what finally made him grow
From a tiny little nubbin
To what we all too well know.

CHORUS

He has spent his time in durance vile
He knows each cop by name
His record file is twelve meters long
His manhood is...not quite the same.

CHORUS

And that's why he dribbles down his legs
For he can't get it out his pants
It's about a long as his thumbnail
And may disappear by chance.

CHORUS

Someday, when he's dead and gone,
Folks will gather 'round and say
"It's really pretty awful out,
How're the Habs doin' today?"

CHORUS

"And do you remember what's his name?
That kid with the worldest smallest...you know?"
And everyone will shake their heads
And reply, "No...who are you on about?"

CHORUS, coda, growing softer on repeat.