I am always reluctant to ascribe sinister motives when an explanation of simple incompetence will suffice, Raggy. However since you have confessed in public, I am bound to believe you.

As I am sure you have also previously claimed that you "cain't get no .. satisfaction" I must decline to meet you at the time and place nominated (I doubt that either of us will feel up to it) but will offer a pint when we next meet, in recompense for spoiling your evil plan.

Les - Which of us is supposed to benefit from the tonsorial apparatus? As you know we are both thinning on top, but whereas Raggy likes to be well groomed I favour the gorgeously-dishevelled look. I am unsure which of us would wield what.