"Just got to face it... my body and brain are fucked."
Tam, you have one of the most light-giving brains on Mudcat, my Sweetheart. Your deep intelligence shines out, as does your love and anguish for your children. The light you need is already inside you. It's in so many words that you write.
Please, when you get a moment, when it feels right, please write more about Andie in her thread...and about her sister too. That is such a very beautiful thread you started about her.