I `ad that Simon Cowell in my cab the other day. `e was on `is way to America to flog `is God awful programme to a los Angeles telly company.
I said, "`ere, I been wanting to ask you this for ages. Why did all you on that panel looked so surprised when that lovely singer Susan Boyle did `er stuff?. You must `ave known `ow good she was when you first `eard `er at the audition."
`e said, " Course we did. But you`ve gotta convince the knuckle draggers that she just come in off the street. Then they`ll watch it again expecting more miracles, take in more adverts and go and buy another computer game or t.v. meal or something. Luvvly Jubbly. Nice little earner!!"

Whaddam I Like??