"Needless to say, my sibling is not being co-operative;
and seemingly oblivious to the problems caused to the rest of the family by his/her negative self obsessed behaviour."

Sounds supiciously like some form of personality dosorder.

In which case there is no treatment other than that which the the sufferer choose to undergo 'once they have acknowledged that there is a problem'

Psychiatrists that i have spoken to on this subject say that in some cases sufferers develop insight later on in life, but not in most cases.

The challenge that you face is to learn about these disorders, to reevaluate your expectations and to learn to find boundaries within which you can operate so that you are protected from your siblings behaviour yet you can continue to love them.

This is a very difficult balance to achieve as the relationship will probably continue to be one way indefinitely.

If you expect reasonable behaviour you will continue to be let down and you will be repeatedly hurt and let down.

If you are realistic about how your sibling is likely to behave then you will know that when you are hurt it has no bearing on you, but iis the result of their problem, at whioch point you may drop out of the scene and minimize your losses.

You must be prepared.

The good times - i.e. - when everyones guard is down, is when disruptive, manipulative, self centred behaviour is most likely to strike.

Your buttons will be pushed.

You have to learn to recognize what is happening and politily engage evacuation plan 'A' whatever that may be.

There is very little public understanding, let alone support for those who have a personality disordered loved one.

There is stuff online, but don't pay for anything.

You will find a very good starting point at the following link.

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/personalit


   ... snip ...



"Cluster A: 'Suspicious'



Paranoid

    * suspicious
    * feel that other people are being nasty to you (even when evidence shows this isn't true)
    * sensitive to rejection
    * tend to hold grudges



Schizoid

    * emotionally 'cold'
    * don't like contact with other people, prefer your own company
    * have a rich fantasy world



Schizotypal

    * eccentric behaviour
    * odd ideas
    * difficulties with thinking
    * lack of emotion, or inappropriate emotional reactions
    * can see or hear strange things
    * related to schizophrenia, the mental illness



Cluster B: 'Emotional and impulsive'



Antisocial, or Dissocial

    * don't care about the feelings of others
    * are easily frustrated
    * tend to be aggressive
    * commit crimes
    * find it difficult to make intimate relationships
    * impulsive - do things on the spur of the moment without thinking about them
    * don't feel guilty
    * don't learn from unpleasant experiences



Borderline, or Emotionally Unstable

    * impulsive
    * find it hard to control emotions
    * feel bad about yourself
    * often self-harm, e.g. cutting yourself or making suicide attempts
    * feel 'empty'
    * make relationships quickly, but easily lose them
    * can feel paranoid or depressed
    * when stressed, may hear noises or voices



Histrionic

    * over-dramatise events
    * self-centered
    * show strong emotions, but which change quickly and don't last long
    * can be suggestible
    * worry a lot about your appearance
    * crave new things and excitement
    * can be seductive



Narcissistic

    * have a strong sense of your own self-importance
    * dream of unlimited success, power and intellectual brilliance
    * crave attention from other people, but show few warm feelings in return
    * exploit others
    * ask for favours that you do not then return



Cluster C: 'Anxious'



Obsessive-Compulsive (aka Anankastic)

    * worry and doubt a lot
    * perfectionist - always check things
    * rigid in what you do
    * cautious, preoccupied with detail
    * worry about doing the wrong thing
    * find it hard to adapt to new situations
    * often have high moral standards
    * judgemental
    * sensitive to criticism
    * can have obsessional thoughts and images (although these are not as bad as those in obsessive-compulsive disorder)



Avoidant (aka Anxious/Avoidant)

    * very anxious and tense
    * worry a lot
    * feel insecure and inferior
    * have to be liked and accepted
    * extremely sensitive to criticism



Dependent

    * passive
    * rely on others to make their own decisions
    * do what other people want you to do
    * find it hard to cope with daily chores
    * feel hopeless and incompetent
    * easily feel abandoned by others"


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