The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #125808   Message #2788752
Posted By: Folkiedave
15-Dec-09 - 08:39 AM
Thread Name: H&S Guidance when singing Festive Songs
Subject: RE: H&S Guidance when singing Festive Songs
There are some for traditional carols too!

Sheffield Carols Health and Safety Guidelines 2010.

Jacobs Well.

Unless suitable fencing is placed around the well this is considered too dangerous. A stranger is hoping to cheer his drooping frame. Has the well been checked for parasites known to be present in unfiltered water? And although the carol does indeed urge us to know the stranger, participants are advised that it might just be advisable to ask for an up-to-date CRB Check.

Living waters flowing are regarded as particularly dangerous. Test all bridges. (See Lake District)

Hark Hark

We have the ever present danger of angels again. Bringing news is fine, email would perhaps be better for no-one seems to have asked for a risk assessment as they land with this news. A clear space at least twenty metres by twenty metres should be provided with no nearby objects higher than five metres. (Does anyone know precisely how angels land? This may help)


Has sufficient space been provided for these weary travellers? It might be advisable to hold a local sports centre or village hall in readiness just in case more than anticipated turn up. I understand this sometimes happens in other religions. And whilst reliance on the Lord to bring people through many dangers is fine, a stout pair of boots is also recommended.

Soft landings for anyone who faints on the enchanted ground ought to be provided. Rubber matting is recommended. Any grapes, especially in clusters, pleasant or not, should be washed first.

Holmfirth Anthem

All passports should be checked and visas for walking abroad for pleasure obtained. Anyone seen resting and then viewing lambs for pleasure should be reported to the RSPCA immediately.


Consideration to what has whitened the harvest and why those surrounding it are feeble, faint and few should be urgently reported; it may be the result of asbestos. Waiting around for anyone is considered dangerous. Vacate the area please. Do not rely on eagles. By all means run or walk, but remember those not used to sudden physical exertion may faint.

Back Lane

People are reminded of the carbon footprint of flying to see an infant. A young infant does need piece and quiet. Please stay serene at all times, at least look that way. Beware if a flaming troop appears. Do not hang around waiting to hear if the shepherds sing.

St. Winifred

Feeding a child where oxen have been lying is not recommended unless the area has been scrupulously cleaned with disinfectant.

Holly and the Ivy.

Especially dangerous. There is the plants themselves, one is poisonous, the other particularly unpleasant to eat, even if boiled first. There's deer running about. Prickles and thorns, bark, bitter root, galls etc etc. Beware all of these plants unless you really do know what you are doing. Report any blood to the authorities immediately. Wear gloves.

Mistletoe Bough.

This song illustrates the dangers of having no proper risk assessment. Please ensure any old oak chests have a safety mechanism operable from the inside. And be careful when seeking people, be it this day or the next one. A week can quickly go by.

Star of Bethlehem

Please ensure that sufficient stewards are provided on the mighty plain to help with the marshalling. State how Equal Opportunities and LGBT issues have been considered. They need radio communication in case there are any sinners eyes start wondering. Once moored please test regularly. The perils may not be over yet.