A heated row began in the Pinky Out Tea Rooms, yesterday, between Mrs Stripe and Mrs George. Feathers flew when conversation moved from Channel crossings and greasing-up to which bird for Christmas.

Mrs Stripe finally saw red and stormed out when Mrs George exclaimed: "Your turkey would be as dry as sandpaper if it wasn't smothered in GOOSE fat."

Mrs Grey, manager of the Pinky Out, claims Mrs George, who has since been nicknamed "Mother Goose", then stepped too far with her final remark: "Don't forget to bring home the bacon, too, for your dry turkey!"