Not sure where these lyrics came from, but I grew up with my grandpa singing this:

I took my girl to a restaurant
for a perfect date
she said she wasn't hungry
but this is what she ate
Oh,
a bowl of soup, a dozen of eggs, a chicken, and a roast,
asparagus, some apple sauce, and two great plates of toast.

When along came the waiter,
and handed me the check
and when I showed him 50 cents
he grabbed me by the neck
Oh
He broke my nose,
He tore my clothes,
He wiped the floor with me,
He gave me a prize
of two black eye,
and swept the floor with me.

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