Then there's the POLITICALLY CORRECT 12 DAYS OF XMAS
(Bruce Brackney,
by way of Vancouver BC Folk Song Soc.'s Three Quarter Times, Feb. 1998)
 
Note:   after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat.   To avoid further Animal American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.
 
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed Midwinter festival, my significant other in a consenting, adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
 
12      males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming;
 
11      pipers piping (including the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union, as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note);
 
10      melanin-deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system, leaping;
 
9        persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression;
 
8        economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk products from enslaved Bovine-Americans;
 
7        endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands;
 
6        enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products;
 
5        golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration;
 
4        hours of recorded whale songs
 
3        deconstructionist poets;
 
2        Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses; and
 
A spotted owl activist chained to an old-growth tree!
 

LOL