From Irish Song Book, No. 1 (New York: Wehman Bros., 1909), page 54:


I'LL NAME THE BOY DENNIS, OR NO NAME AT ALL.

1. I'm bothered, yes, I'm bothered, completely perplexed.
I'm the father of a little boy. I'm not happy, but I'm vexed.
I have ninety-nine relations and they nearly drive me wild.
Both one and all, both great and small, they want to name the child.

CHORUS: My wife she wants him Michael. Her sister wants him Matt.
My brother wants him Charlie, whilst her aunty wants him Pat.
Whilst her brother wants him Shamus, and my father wants him Paul,
I do declare I don't know what I'll name the boy at all.

2. 'Twas only here this morning, my brother came from Troy.
He swore by this, he swore by that, that he would name the boy.
Says my wife's brother Darby, he'd "be hanged if that would do,"
And they jumped together on the floor and had a bold set-to.

3. Next Sunday is the christening, and I'll tell you, by the way,
I'll have none of their conniving. I'm bound to have my say.
They may call him this and call him that. I don't give that for their call.
I'm bound to call him Dennis, or he'll have no name at all.