The original for this one is HEY JOE, written by Boudleaux Bryant, and a hit record by Carl Smith in 1953. The lyrics are posted here.

You can hear the parody at http://78records.cdbpdx.com/ (Follow the instructions on that page to get to the "main music page.")


HEY SCHMO
As sung by Homer and Jethro, RCA Victor 20-5555

Hey, schmo!
Where'd you get this golly-whopper?
Where'd you get this gravy-sopper?
Since we met she really cooked my goose.
Hey, schmo!
When we dance and I enfold her,
Don't need you to help me hold her.
Come on, schmo, and help me turn her loose.
Now listen, schmo.
She's gotta go,
With her hair that's hangin' down her back so low.
It's a-hangin' down her back, I said,
But there ain't none a-growin' on her head.
Wish I was dead.
Hey, schmo!
Buddies we have always been,
But gang-a-rene has done set in,
So take her back and dig some other place.

Now listen, schmo:
I'm a-tellin' you
That you'd better come and get her P.D.Q.
She has got a purty figger,
But her face is just like Trigger.
That's the proof
Somebody goofed.
Hey, schmo!
I just want to get the facts.
Where'd you get this battle-axe?
I don't want her and I never will.
Give this soupy-snapper back to Eddie Hill.


[I have a couple of questions: Where'd they come up with the expression "soupy-snapper"? (Did I transcribe it correctly?) Who is/was Eddie Hill?]