The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2806971
Posted By: Little Hawk
08-Jan-10 - 05:16 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Penelope IS Winston's wife, you moron!

Here's what I envision: Chongo pounding Amos's pointy little head into a shapeless mass as Amos's paramour Chinga gets fed through a trash compactor by rampaging gorillas who have taken offense at her licentious lifestyle and her utterly unsavoury reputation (which is an insult to all self-respecting primates).

Kirk arrives with Doctor McCoy, having just beamed down on a fact-finding mission. Chongo dusts himself off, says, "Take over, guys," and walks away. McCoy bends down over the prone body of Amos, pulls out a little tricoder thingie and passes it over the San Diego Dimwit. It emits a low buzzing sound. McCoy looks up and says,

"He's dead, Jim."

"No! Really? You're shitting me," says Kirk, rolling his eyes sarcastically. "And what about this one?" (pointing to the hamburger-like remains of Chinga).

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not Jesus Christ!" objects McCoy. "I only identify the dead, I don't raise them."

Kirk and McCoy leave the scene. Corridus emerges cautiously from under the trash compactor, cleans his whiskers, looks around brightly and scuttles off in search of further adventure.

A sense of calm and completion settles over the empty stage. The world has somehow become a safer, kinder, friendlier place...

Shane walks out from stage left, scratches himself, yawns, stretches, belches loudly, and lights up a joint. "Geez!" he remarks. "Smells like somethin' died around here, eh?"

The curtain closes.