Some of it can be skin adhesions too, not only visible on the surface but in the skin'sunderlayers closed during surgery. Our friend particularly had a hard time rehabbing back to full his ROM (range of motion) because that involved stretching adhesions as well as skin tightened more normally from stitches, and it hurts! (Ever rehab a "new" tendon? OUCH!)

What's hell about it is that any rehab not completed at these ages makes an older person more vulnerable to having the NEXT problem, and then complicates the healing and recovery from THAT. Some folks just are more aggressive in their willingness to do hard, painful work, and are focused more on enjoying life day-to-day-- which can be frustrating to live with, because of course WE want our dearest ones to love forever and be able to do everything they love so much.

When Hardi's dad chose, instead, to slow down, it was hard on all of us who were involved, both as family loving him and for those of us who also were hands-on caregivers. And it's a familiar pattern parochially as well-- that tricky balance between (A) wanting to encourage someone we love to try hard and (B) wanting to respect their own choices.

~Susan