I went to a party the other day, but got very drunk and left my banjo behind.

The following day I called round to retrieve the banjo, but couldn't remember which house the party had been in. I knew which street, and the fact that the toilet was golden, so I started knocking on doors.

'Do you have a golden toilet?' I asked each householder.

After three unsuccessful attempts to find my beloved banjo, I met with this response:

'So YOU'RE the pillock who crapped in my euphonium!'