This is the set I had framed on my office wall above my desk so that visitors (especially Academic staff) could read them

Murphy's Laws

1.        If anything can go wrong, it will
2.        If two things go wrong the worst will be screened by the less bad incident
3.        Nature sides with the hidden flaw.
4.        It always costs more than you have.
5.        It always takes longer than you expect
6.        Everything you want to do, you have to do something else first
7.        If you fool with something for long enough it will eventually break
8.        Never underestimate the power of stupidity
9.        If a slice of bread is dropped it will land butter side down if the carpet is expensive or the floor is dirty and it is the last slice.
10.        If you think there is some good in everyone, you haven't met everyone
11.        You can make things fool proof but you can't make them idiot proof.
12.        If you think you've covered all possible flaws, there is always one more you didn't think of.
13.        There is never time to do it right but there is always time to do it over
14.        Forward planning is useful for preparing you for what can go wrong but does not tell you what will go wrong
15.        An expert is not someone who is always right, they are just wrong in more sophisticated ways.

For Management
16.        When in doubt, mumble
17.        When in charge, delegate
18.        When things go wrong, blame
19.        Simple solutions only fit simple problems and appeal to those who do not understand the problem anyway.
20.        You can fool some of the people all the time and all the people some of the time and that's usually enough.
21.        If you pay peanuts you get monkeys or garbage in equals garbage out
22.        An extra pair of hands can help out but if they have knowledge they can transform and enhance
23.        Just because you are paranoid it does not mean they are not out to get you.
24. Expertise is not transferable, just because you are good at your job does not mean you are good at, or even understand, mine.