Well, my fellow Mudders, in one word...

it sucks...

Yeah, it sucks but it could suck alot worse, right??? But nevermind all the suckin' doomie-n-gloomie stuff 'cause I got some ideas on how to get it unsuck...

First, after watchin' the Repubs last night talkin' and jokin' while Obama was given his speech, we are gonna send all of 'um off to Emily Post University fir a refresher course in manners... But if that don't work then next year we'll have my 3rd grade teacher, Miss Dial, stationed in their section next year... Believe me, first time Mitch McConnel opens his mouth that yard stick gonna come crashin' down on him like bad case of the clap... Know what I mean???

Secondly, I want to talk about the budget... Sure it's a mess... We need more money and here's how weren't gonna get it... First of all, we're gonna legalize marijuana and the tax alone on selling it will bring in enough money to run every school in the country... But we're not gonna stop there... We're gonna sell off Florida... I figure that we oughtta get a couple trillion from China fir it... Of course, Mickey Mouse will now have slanty eyes and talk funny but for two trillion we can all live with that, right???

Thirdly, this spending has got to be brought under control... So I propose closing schools in the other Southern states and several mid-western states since schools pbviously aren't doing any good there... That alone will put another trillion dollars in the treasury...

Now, lotta ya'll thinkin' "Well, that all sounds purdy good but what ya' gonna do with bin Laden???"... Hey, I'm all for givin' him his own channel station where he and his boys can rant and rave all day long for free... Or if they just want make ugly faces or moon the camera that's okay, too... We can sell lots of ads to Halliburton and take that money and throw it in the treaury, too, right???

As for foriegn policy, I propose that we grant statehood to any country that wants in.... Of course there will be application fees and reviews and lots of paperwork to keep our government workers workin' so this is win-win-win... Plus, think of all the flags we'll be sellin'??? Before long we'll have a couple thousand stars on the sumabich and so we won't need night-time anymore, which I plan of callin' off once the flag gets to, ahhhhh, about the first thousand stars.... Now here's the beuty of this proposal... Folks ain't gonna attack us because they will be us, right??? Plus we can tax the crap outta them, too, right... Put another few trill in the till, right???

Lastly, my fellow Mudcatters, there are no gains without pain so I'm going to have to ask for some sacrifices here... Firstly, we are wasting too much time on shanty sings... This music is mindless and contributing to a decline in mental activity so they are out... Same with banjo music... Yeah, I know ya'll like them things but they are both activities like beating yer head on the walll 'cause it feels so good when ya' stop, right???

So, there you have it... If these steps don't get us outta sucksville then there's nuthin' that comes to mind that will so lets all get on board here, roll a joint for America and do our part as good and decent people...

Good bless Mudville and the United States of America...